Affaire de Coeur

Tonight I feel like writing about romantic love. The search, the plight, the challenges, the lessons so far. A few months ago I started writing a book. A book I have called Good day Mr. Handsome. It is dedicated to my future life partner. It’s kinda funny, kinda not. I bring up many ex relationships, many. Where they went wrong, where they went right and how they never worked out.

There are a few keys things I have learnt.

One is timing. I may have met Mr. Handsome a dozen times but the timing just wasn’t there. Perhaps one of us was getting over a heart break and wasn’t at a place to embrace a new relationship, or we were leaving to travel, or moving, or not being at a place of responsibility while the other was, or had been married at one time with an over-controlling ex, looming in the distance, who can’t let go of their world, or we simply lived in different distant cities and weren’t ready to part them.

Two is the more unique you are the harder it can be to find a match. It’s almost like unique scares people. Unique doesn’t fit a certain stereotype, harder to know what to expect. It doesn’t bring as much comfort nor security as a pattern we can relate too and understand. Something we seem to seek in a relationship.

Three: how cool or fiery we are. I think cool wins hands down. Once again cool is associated with being calm, in control, relaxed. Fiery is associated with hyper, spazy and perhaps a little too energetic for the average person. Perhaps this energetic nature is perceived as overwhelming, intimidating and in some cases a weakness. Although I tend to see it as romantic passion in action.

Four: family and friends. How do you connect with them? Do you get along? Enjoy each others presence? Of course you can’t get along with everyone, but overall have you made a few new friends? If more tension than joy develops amongst the person loved one’s and the person you love it makes it for one icky situation.

Five: Trust. Yes the almighty gift that is given to each one of us when we meet. A gift many of us don’t realize was given. A gift we end up taking for granted until it is severed. Good luck gluing that one back together. If other aspects of the relationship are strong, it helps, but nonetheless it is a hard one to truly regain, truly feel, truly honour again.

Six: your life path. Are they similar? Is there a parallel that can be drawn? If one really wants kids, the other really not, that could be it, the deal breaker right then and there.

Seven: Your matured sexual nature. This I find comes more into play as you age. It’s almost like we discover more what kind of sex we like and how much we expect to have it. Something we were merely discovering when we were younger.

Eight: attraction. Now that one is pretty self-explanatory and much explained and covered in our society so no real need to expand here. What I find most interesting here is that sometimes I have met people I felt attracted too who absolutely did not fit the kind of guy that I’m usually attracted too. It’s almost like their charming smile or eyes is all I really need. And that is something I feel instantly. That is something I love because it is unique, it is special, it fires up my soul.

Now will the rest fit like 2 missing pieces in a puzzle?

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