Day 7 -Moksha Yoga Teacher Training

We took a challenge to not have any self talk that was negative for 30 days. I'm pretty sure I don't have to give examples here. I challenge you to try it for one day. One day of being mindful of your negative self talk and replacing it with F**k it, I rock!

“Baby Don’t Cry”

As I was taking the subway to class this morning at 6 am, hey-yo, I was thinking how I was on Day 7 of being caffeine, alcohol and nicotine free. Wow, awwwsome! Then it got me thinking to when was the last time my body had been completely drug free, including medication. That would be the age of 14. Ever since then my body has depended or deliberately taken some sort of drug. Wow. That’s more than half my life, hey-yo.

The class started with meditation, as we do every morning and it turned out to be the worst session ever. I could not sit still nor have a still thought and felt agitated as the chronic pain in my right shoulder started inviting me to notice its presence. This didn’t stop me from turning the creases of my lips upwards to try and trick my brain into believing I was happy and also genuinely I was also just trying to     just      be      happy.

I’ve been doing this “smile for myself” thing pretty much everyday since I got here. A slight smile, something I used to do a lot more when I used to practice Bikram hot yoga. Cause really why do we share so many smiles with others but rarely, if not ever, look at ourselves and smile and just keep it there?

As the day kept going, so did the pain. During our afternoon yoga class I ended having a one arm yoga practice and the pain started affecting my stomach reaaaally bad. I just lied there at the end of the class with a yoga block jabbing into my shoulder trying to break down the pain. Ya like that’s going to help for more than a few seconds worth of relief.

Then I just let everything go including the outer creases of my lips that suddenly dropped and turned upside down as intense sadness, anger and frustration raged through. The pain was no longer solely isolated to my physical being, all of me felt the pain.  I turned my head to one side and felt my pool of sweat to now be a pool of pain that I was lying in. The teacher knelt beside me and as she brushed my bangs away from my forehead she looked at me with such eyes of compassion. A tear rolled down the corner of my eye joining my drenched face covered with tears of sweat.

Sitting through two more hours of class with the relentless burning fiery pain, I finally took the decision that one week being free of any type of stimulant, depressants, pain maskers, drugs was what it was going to be -awesome in itself. And so the T3 reduced my constant pain from an 8.5 to a 4.5.

I’m hopeful it won’t take another few decades to feel drug free again.

“Better days”

July 8, 2010
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Day 6 -Moksha Yoga Teacher Training

I have to bring up meditation again because it really does blow my mind. The instructions seems so simple yet executing it is far from simple.

Let’s review one of the the meditation practices again:

1. Bring attention to the breath

2. Notice when the mind is wandering

3. Bring attention back to the breath

4. Repeat step 2 – 3 a billion times

It’s a loop, a circle of sorts and the only reason you do step 2-3 and 4 is because you can’t do step one with the required amount of focus. It baffles me how I can focus on watching a tv show yet I can’t focus on my own breath for more than a minute or so without having it wandering (and I’m being generous with the minute).  This makes me think of the power of the mind on its own. Our teacher described it almost like an organ, doing it’s own thing.  Good thing I have  a lot more control over my bladder.

Learning about meditation has been fascinating, incredible actually. And being able to put it in practice everyday feeds into my learning style, hands on approach. Ya baby. There really is too much to resume in a few paragraphs because it really pushes the boundaries about how we think, literally. I’m definitely inspired to keep learning about it and teach it to others and incorporating it into yoga classes.

So I’m guessing some of you are wondering how I’m doing with the whole energy thing. I who LOVES my sleep and needs sleep to feel as though I can have a good day. Well, I’m learning that taking naps throughout the day is almost like the equivalent to having a cup of coffee. It’s awesome!

A perfect example of how to nap during breaks.

I don’t necessarily nap-nap. But I definitely lie down and find myself in a deep resting state.  So far this is working quite well. Which leads me to think more workplaces need a hammock or lying resting area for employees. I know a coffee pot is cheaper and doesn’t take as much room but beyond the financial bottom line, it seems it would be better for the bottom line of our well being. Perhaps in a decade or so? Perhaps the working culture will shift? Perhaps there will be meditation/yoga rooms at workplaces too? Now that would be bliss!

July 7, 2010
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Day 5 -Moksha Yoga Teacher Training

Lights were out at 11 pm last night and the last time I looked at my clock it was 12:30 AM. Needless to say I was tres tired this morning.

Since the day started off intensely tired why not couple it with an intense Moksha HOT yoga class. Great idea. Push the boundaries. And our teacher did exactly that. She boosted the temperature of the room to SUPER HOT. During our pre-class 15 mins. meditation session, most of us were already sweating buckets. Her rational was a good one though. Although she didn’t tell us why until after the class was done.

She wanted us to remember what it was to be a beginner. What it felt like that very first time we went through such intense heat which is usually associated with many overwhelming feelings and can bring up  a lot of emotions to the surface. These emotions can change the vibe of the room as they emanate from the students. It’s up to the teacher not to bounce those vibes back but rather calm and sooth them while offering compassion and understanding. Very zen. Love it.

This is where I had my super HOT class this morning. Oh and did I mention it was a SUPER HOT day in TO today as well?

Overall it was another fabulous day! My heart smiled throughout most of the day. Much was learnt again. As we were brainstorming in groups we discussed how we could live greener as we attend/practice yoga. I felt as though driving an hour and a half just to go to the closest Moksha yoga class was the furthest thing from being green. Although I must say 2 ladies I work with and I have been carpooling together pretty consistently once a week for the past 2 years, still it’s a long drive.

So I thought  it would be really ‘fiery’ if Moksha had available resources for those living in small towns on how to build/hold a hot room that would fit 3 – 5 people. You could maybe also have a teacher guiding the class from a webcam, although that part I didn’t mention. It probably would not be feasible to open a studio in small towns, but what if we could transform a room into a hot room for a feasible price? Hmmmm… thoughts?

Daily info:

4  “simple” steps to meditation that is much harder than it seems:

1. Bring awareness to the breath

2. Notice when you’re mind is wondering.

3. Bring attention back to the breath

4. Repeat step 2 and 3 one billion times.

Txs for reading.

July 6, 2010
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Day 4 -Moksha Yoga Teacher Training

Sunday: our one day OFF a week.

Even though it was a day off, I set my alarm for 9 am so I wouldn’t sleep in until 2 pm. I pressed snooze about 5 times and then finally got up. It was a gorgeous day in TO. Just beautiful. Sun was shining, it was over 30 degrees. Put a semi permanent smile on my face. Great day for Toronto’s pride parade. It would have been a fabulous place to take amazing pictures! Instead I went through an hour and a half of pain through an active release therapy massage. There was no relaxing in this massage. Kudos to everyone who deals with chronic pain, it’s a part-time job in itself where one might need to go through more pain to help give ride of pain. Pretty messed up.

So the beauty of my day was not having to drive. I’m absolutely loving this part of living here for the month. My day started by taking the subway to hunt for some coconut water. A very hot commodity these days, the word on the street is all the celebrities are doing it, so everyone else wants to do it too. They can’t keep up with the demand anymore. The other day I wiped out a health food store by buying the last 10, 1 litre they had. Today I picked up another 5.

I then headed to a healthy restaurant/take out place called Fresh. So delish, highly recommend it if you’re in TO looking for healthy food that will give you energy rather than drain you of it. I ate one of their rice bowls and took one to go for tomorrow. I stretched the rice bowl when I got home by adding peppers, onions, tomatoes, cucumbers and of course cheese. So I made 2 meals out of it.

A flower found in the rock garden in the front yard of the BandB I'm staying at.

Trivia of the day: Most people who go through depressions are shallow breathers. Another reason to take a pause just to breath … deeply.

Trivia numero deux of the day: While sleeping on your back, a pillow under your knees will help put less strain on your spine.

Bonne nuit. Hope it embraces me sooner than later.

July 5, 2010
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Day 3 -Moksha Teacher Training

As “fiery” (my new word for cool) as I think it is to write this blog everyday during this training session I must also confess I find my writing a little boring. I usually have a glass of wine or a cup of coffee by my side as I write helping inspire my inspiration, but none of these can be found nearby.

One of the frames on the wall in our teacher training room. It's a large room in the basement of a building. It is simple without too many fancy or distracting things. Good energy and feel.

This training not only involves long days with an alarm clock that wakes me up at 5 am, 6 days a week, including 2 hot yoga classes/day but it also requires complete abstinence of caffeine, nicotine or alcohol.

I was trying to remember the last time this body had neither of these running through my veins for a whole 30 days and I would have to say, I was 16 years old. Wow! Perhaps I am going through this just to really realize what that means, what it feels like. And so I am feeling it. So what shall accompany my writing this evening? What shall replace these drugs I’ve been so drawn too? Something else I am drawn too: French music.

This morning we tried a new type of yoga: Sivananda yoga. Our teacher Jessica Robertson (also co-founder of Moksha) who has a gorgeous silky voice, sang a few chants during our practice and it was most soothing. I quite liked this style. It definitely had a more classic feel to it. It’s really nice exploring the different kinds of yoga while being here to learn a specific type.

Although insomnia dropped by for a visit last night and we stayed up really late together, leaving me about 3.5 – 4 hrs sleep, today wasn’t too bad of a day. Most likely because our afternoon class was Yin Yoga and this tends to allow me a few minutes of sleep here and there. I love Yin!

A glimpse of the teacher training space

By the end of the day I was much tired and much looking forward to not having to worry about grocery shopping, making a lunch for tomorrow, checking out the weather and picking out clothes and rushing to get to bed. Now I’m starting to think tomorrow’s day of rest might be just as hard but for different reasons. There won’t be as many things to push me to the point where I’m not going to think caffeine or wine.  Whateva, I’m a big gal, I’m sure I’ll get over it.

Quirky information of the day: The axial skeleton is made up of the skull, vertebrae, sternum,  ribs. The appendicula Skeleton is made up of the upper & lower extremities & supporting girdles. Quiz Question!

Spot to hang up our sweaty mats to dry. We each have a spot. That would be 64 sweaty spots!

July 4, 2010
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Day 2 -Moksha Teacher Training

I opened my eyes at 4:55 am this morning. Just like that. Except I thought it was the middle of the night rather than 5 mins. before having a machine wake up my most comfy body. Wasn’t too comatose this morning, usually isn’t the 1st, or 2nd  early morning. It’s the 3rd, 4th and 5 th that kills me.

My pictures today are random shots of Moksha Yoga poses. This is the eagle pose helping with flexibility, strength and balance. An eagle can be focused yet contained.

So I made it on time, early actually. I have this thing with being early with Moksha, consistently. Quite the contrary to everything else in my life. Unexplainable really.

I'm a fan of the tree pose for the wrong reason; I love trees!

So not only did I have my first meditation class ever this morning (no I did not bring my fancy pillow, it still seems too fancy) but there I was doing the earliest yoga class I’ve done in my life. As I let my thoughts drift (which I shouldn’t be doing) I thought to myself how happy I am to have all this time to just focus on me, on my health, on the way I walk and sit, on stretching, taking my vitamins, eating right, learning about something I love, breathing deeply. It’s quite incredible! I’m pretty frickin lucky! Really. I think I actually felt emotional about it, which was odd. It past quickly though.

Our lectures were interesting today, anatomy was one of my favorite. The teacher was quite exceptional and did you know that spreading your toes helps you activate your arches. So if you have flat feet it can help with your balance.

Pigeon Pose (Eka Pada Kapotasana) Most people's favourite pose!

Moment of the day: As I looked around the class of 64 participants, 4 or 5 are men, one of our teachers pointed out that 80 years ago womyn were not allowed to study yoga. Encouraged me to feel gratefulness for all the womyn who have fought/fight for womyn to be an equal gender with equal opportunities.

Corpe Pose (Savasna). This is Moksha's hardest pose. I kid you not (so says the Moksha educators and teachers). How hard can the series be if this is the hardest pose? You'll have to try and tell me what you think 🙂

I will be bringing my camera tomorrow so I will actually be taking pictures at the location rather than from in my room.

July 3, 2010
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Day 1

I’ve decided to log my experience during the Moksha yoga teacher training I’m taking.

I arrived a few days earlier to settle in and become acquainted with the neighbourhood. It’s quaint. It’s no little Drayton Valley and although there are many convenience stores that have fresh fruits and vegetables for sale, there aren’t as many healthy food take out stores as I would like in the area. For those familiar with Organic Roots Cafe in edmonton -my FAVORITE take out place ever, there isn’t one of those kicking around.

So class started at 1 pm today, it being Canada Day and all. People seem nice, teachers seems pleasant and kind, space is ok -one big open space with no chairs or tables (more bring your own style).

There’s only 2 washrooms which can make it tricky during pee breaks as everyone is encouraged to drink more water than they ever have before. So basically the bathroom seems to always be occupied as 1 of the 64 students seems to have the urge to go.

There are 2 fridges we can use, it will be interesting to see tomorrow if everyone’s food fits, especially since we are greatly encouraged to bring our own food every day.

We did many circle activities today where you go around and introduce yourself and say why you’re here and what you hope to get out of it. I kept mine short and sweet: “My name is Sophie, I came here to learn more about something I love and what I hope to get out of it is be able to share it others when I get back. Oh and learn how to breath better”. We then had to recite the 3 names of the people sitting to the left of us.

We were then put in a smaller circle, divided the group into 4, and had to ask one question to one person. Someone asked me what was my most proud accomplishment in life? Hmmm…. mmmmm….. I don’t normally have “most’s” is what I first answered, still searching in my head, still not coming to me. Finally I said “fuck it” in my head, I should have an answer for this!, so I said: being here. How cheese. I just couldn’t think of anything specific. And in retrospect I don’t think it’s that there isn’t anything I’m proud of accomplishing, just that I feel as though I’ve accomplished lot’s of little things in my life rather than just a few big things. This being a little thing too.

Well I should get to bed soon but first here’s a picture of something about my day as it always makes blogs more interesting. Here’s my meditation pillow that I will be bringing to class tomorrow and it will be remaining there for the next 30 days probably used more for sleeping while sitting then meditation.

Funny story about the meditation pillow is that I think have quite the fancy one. I have no experience with this type of pillows and so I went to Polly Magoos to order one before I left Edmonton and this is what I purchased. Many of the people there today seemed to have round one’s that look like a cushion.

Fancy Meditation Pillow

July 2, 2010
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Day 2 and 3 -Vlogs (G8G20)

There is so much to write about our experience however I’m feeling intimidated by the time factor. I must go sleep.

For now here are the 2 vlogs we worked tirelessly on with a lot of soul and heart covering glimpse of what happened the weekend of the G8G20 in TO, June 26-27th, 2010. It wasn’t always easy being a participant and an observer at once but I think we pulled it off to the best of our ability.

The following Vlog is from Saturday. After a long day with 2.5 hours of sleep from the night before, sore feet, feeling sick from the tear gas, lost memory cards, (and much more) we managed to work on this from about midnight until 6 am on our front steps at the Hostel we were staying.  Ironically for half of the night there were a dozen cops dozing off on a few benches in the park right in front of us, only meters away.

The one below is the one we worked on Friday night as we encountered technical problems for many parts of the editing process while we were at a 24 hour coffee shop where half the customers through the night were cops. Karena’s perseverance made it so we finished the job. ❤

June 29, 2010
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Impressions of first evening in TO -exploring the sites and fence

The above video was made in the airplane on our way. Sound is not so great.

We arrived late this evening and decided to first start exploring the fence. The cab driver on our way said that about 60% of roads were shut down and many people did not have to go to work today and for the next few days. Upon our arrival the downtown core was swamped with cops and the fence was up. At first impression we were sure we could not go beyond the perimeter as many cops stood guard but a local informed us otherwise and said civilians still had full access within the perimeter.

As we entered we noticed multiple police trailers. We started asking questions to a pair of cops from Vancouver who did not let us film our questions but proceeded to also ask us questions as to why we were here. They also seemed quite surprised that we were showing up to protest as independents and not part of a group. After 5 minutes of chatting they were sooner relived “replaced” by another set of cops. Perhaps becoming too friendly was a no-no, or so we thought.  We said our goodbyes and kept walking within the perimeter and noticed carts of food and beverage going from cop to cop. Awww how nice for them. Then they stopped for us and asked us if we wanted some too. Really, free gelato, apricots, apples and water, for us? They also asked us why we were here and seemed to also have opinions on the G8G20 but could not talk for long as they seem to always have to keep rotating and moving. A second cart stopped and offered us more. We stocked up. Although we could not document this with video, we must say we took full advantage of such an opportunity and exchange. Karena mentioned to remember us when confronted with orders to gas or use sound canons and “stand down” as she put it.

We left the perimeter and checked out the spots where events are being organized in the next few days. 20 blocks later we arrived to a few locations. They are quite far from the perimeter as is tent city which will be taking place. We noticed many cops driving in fancy SUV’s patrolling the area.  However not many activist to be seen.

Day 1 -done.

June 25, 2010
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Headed to oppose the G20 in TO

This is a group of us headed to Quebec City in 2001 to oppose the FTAA.

My friend Melodie and I have left Edmonton this morning and are joined by our friend Karena from Calgary  as we are headed to protest and document the opposition to the G20 in Toronto, Ontario.  We will keep you posted as we go.

June 24, 2010
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